Today marks a special day for me especially, and it’s bigger than the 1, 3 or 6 months mark. This is special because since his creation he has officially been in moms world and the outside world the same amount of time.
As a father, it has sometimes been a struggle to achieve or maintain the same importance as his mother. Some days it’s been hard on the ego and the heart that he always prefers her to me and for brief moments, even though he spends most time (awake) with me, she’s always number one. It’s hard not to envy that connection… But it’s a beautiful connection to behold and a connection that will continue to evolve and change as his needs and personality evolves.
When Ana was pregnant we were worried that he wouldn’t get as attached to her as to me due to her working away from home, but our worries were for nothing because the first chance he gets he jumps out of anything just to be in his mother’s arms and that is a testament both to her amazing traits as a mother and for the love that he has for her.
Since we started talking about having a baby I always maintained the position that I wanted to be more of the fun uncle rather than the father, carefully and with hesitation excusing myself from the duties and responsibilities of being a father. Let’s say that changed very quick and I will be very honest and say there is nothing I have done in my life that has given me such a profound sense of humility and love in such a pure and profound way. He is just so amazing.
I know it’s programmed into our DNA to love and adore our children and whether or not it is that physical instinct or emotional bond between us, being a father has truly changed me at the core of my being.
Not just how I perceive the world and us humans who inhabit it, but also how I see my parents, my friends and the biggest of all… Ana.
That affection, love and appreciation that I have for this woman has reached a new height and keeps climbing for each day that passes as I see her develop and evolve as a woman, friend, partner and as a mother.
So on this day I salute Ana and Ean for helping me creating this tiny little beautiful universe of ours that I am so honored to share with you guys. If you feel like it, I would very much appreciate you helping me reach more people with my stories. So if you like this project, please share this post or the Fatherologist page on your social media. Thank you for all support!